Graduation

     Endings are hard. I have never been good at endings. I'm not ready to leave the nest. I don't want to fly away. I don't want to leave my family. I am not ready for the next opportunity in life. I am scared, actually terrified. But when I think about it, I was once a scared little bird, who couldn't even take flight, who dreamed to soar. We were all kindergartners who didn't want to leave our parents, who didn't want to start school, but we did and we ended our lives at home and started our life at school. 
     We were all eggs who just hatched in a small nest and we wanted to grow. Each year we grew, we learned more and more with the help of our teachers, they were with us through it all. There were some days where some days were I would fall, fail, feel different, but with the support and love of our little flock, I would persist. There have been many lessons, but throughout the tough times at Golf I learned to love others for our differences, all of them.
      Now we are back at a beginning, about to leave, about to learn more. I don't want to leave this amazing community, but if I want to soar, I have to first fly. Which means I have to leave and my journey at Golf Middle School ends.

A Baduatirmation?

     So as this is the biggest year of my life so far with graduation, confirmation, and my fourteenth birthday, I was due to have some sort of party, a Baduatirmation. A combination of a birthday, graduation, and confirmation. I am sure it will be great, but there is one problem...
     As this year is ending, my mental state has not been doing well. I am full of stress, anxiety, depression, and going into a state where I'm trying to isolate myself and be antisocial. At random times you can find me crying over the random est things, freaking out over a project, or just not saying anything. I am starting to hate things I love and I'm just waiting for things to be over or to survive. It's not healthy.
     With that as a problem, I am freaking about who to invite, what to do, and if people will like it. It's hard because I don't want to be social, I don't want to have the worst party ever, and I don't want to make bad reputation, hurt anyone's feelings, or have a few people invited a my party. 
     I have to chose the people by today. Wish me luck and if you have any suggestions of cool/fun things I can do let me know in the comment (ex. huge capture the flag game) and if you are from my school and read this and are not invited, please don't be offended.